A Simple Self-Care Practice

I was browsing through Barnes & Noble magazine ailes, casually enjoying the variety of topics, pictures, and illustrations on display when I came across the food and health section of the display. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and grow firey with frustration reading the messages that were propagandized, such as, 

THE BEST FLAT BELLY FOODS
BURN FAT, LOOK GREAT, & NEVER FEEL HUNGRY
JIGGLY FAT DISSOLVES
END TIREDNESS

Media and advertising play a huge yet often unrecognized role in how we shape our beliefs and values. The American writer and advocate Jean Kilbourne, who is known for her research in advertising and its connection to major problems in society such as addiction and mental health disorders, shares that...

“We are each exposed to over 3000 ads a day. Yet, remarkably, most of us believe we are not influenced by advertising. Ads sell a great deal more than products. They sell values, images, and concepts of success and worth, love and sexuality, popularity and normalcy. They tell us who we are and who we should be. Sometimes they sell addictions.”  - Jean Kilbourne
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A critical part of your wellness journey will be to develop discernment because, unfortunately, there are a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing in the health and wellness industry. 

​If we do not challenge the dominant messages, they may lead us to unconsciously adopt self-limiting and self-deprecating beliefs that become some of our GREATEST hurdles to actualizing our health and wellness goals.

For example, if we believe that hunger is the enemy of health and well-being, as some of these ads suggest, we would spend many parts of our day falling into fear, frustration, and shame cycles. If instead we recognize that hunger is a naturally occuring and healthy cue that our beautifully designed human regulation system gives us then we will welcome the experience as a guide to peace, relaxation, and fulfillment. 

Developing discernment is a radical act of self-care.

So how does one take the steps towards becoming more discerning? I propose these five simple steps that can support this process. Next time you notice yourself criticizing your body or shaming yourself for not doing xyz, take these steps...

1. Bring awareness and attention to spontaneously arising thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that are self-deprecating. These often come in the form of "should" statements such as "I should have worked out earlier," "I shouldn't be hungry," "I should be farther along in my career," "I should be skinnier." "Shoulding" on ourselves is a common habit that forms after being exposed to those 3000 ads a day. Awareness is the first step to release the grip they may have on your life.
2. Next, ask yourself who may be profiting from these particular thoughts, feelings, and/or beliefs? Where do you see these messages being reinforced? It may be helpful to spend time journaling about this. 
3. Now, flood yourself with self-compassion. Self-compassion is the act of extending yourself compassion during perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Dr. Kristen Neff is a pioneer in self-compassion research and has found that self-compassion is linked with psychological well-being. There are three elements to self-compassion: (1) Self-kindness, (2) Recognizing Common Humanity, and (3) Mindfulness. If you need a resource to get started with a self-compassion practice, check out my free audio meditation recording: Compassion for Self and Others
4. Next, imagine a world where no one's worth is dictated by this perceived flaw. Ask yourself, is this a world you want to see for your children or grandchildren one day? 
5. Finally, consider incorporating a small ritual of release that you can do when these thoughts, feelings, or beliefs enter into your awareness. Some ideas for this include: take an intentional deep inhale and exhale, symbolizing your release of any self-deprecating habits; write the thought on a paper, crumble it up, and throw it away; tighten your fists and slowly open and stretch your fingers until they are relaxed; drop your chin to your chest and roll your head to bring your right ear to right shoulder, back to chin to chest, and then left ear to left shoulder. 

Despite what those ads may have you think, you are worthy, loved, and enough just as you are in this moment. I wish you well as you practice the art of discernment as a self-care practice.