Apply the 5 Love Languages to your Self-Love Journey

The concept of the 5 love languages has revolutionized how we talk to our romantic partners about our intimacy needs, but have you explored how this concept can make a difference in your relationship with yourself?

The 5 love languages is a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman. He was motivated to help couples understand one another better and communicate their intimacy needs. There are quizzes available for you to understand how you give and receive love based on the 5 love languages: Take the Quiz!

Soon after I learned about the five love languages, I began thinking about how this concept applies to a wide range of relationships, not only romantic partners. Sure enough, as the five languages grew in popularity, more and more quizzes, articles, and books became available to relate the five love languages to various relationships (parent/child, friendships, adolescents, etc). My favorite ways to apply the love languages with my self-care and self-love routines.

One of my dearest friends and mentor taught me the saying, “you cannot pour from an empty cup.” This resonated on such a deep level because it was my tendency for so long to please and prioritize others' well-being before my own. It's paradoxical what happens when you prioritize yourself... you'll inherently want to give back graciously and generously to those in your life. 

So how do you ensure your cup remains filled? 

Reflect on the five love languages and consider which one helps you feel most at ease or energized. Take note that the love language you have for yourself may be different than the one you prefer with your partner or other relationships. I have created five lists of things to do in relation to each love language. Check them out and see which list excites you most! 

The five love languages, applied to the self include:

Physical Touch: Things that help your physical body feel good and experience pleasure. Words of Affirmation: Having access to words of encouragement and support. Acts of Service:  Finding things that bring more ease to your daily routine.
Receiving Gifts: Spending money on things that bring you joy or creating things for yourself just for fun. Quality Time: Spending time alone doing activities that you enjoy.

I also recommend a few other practices to help keep your cup full, regardless of your love language. These include mindfulness and a self-compassion practice. Mindfulness is the nonjudgmental awareness of your external environment as well as your internal experience of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Self-compassion is your inner capacity to give yourself grace and kindness amidst mistakes or hardships. Check out my Meditations Page if you need help getting started with these practices. 

​Having supportive self-love activities in your life is not a replacement for other connection and intimacy.

Sometimes the best way to fill your cup is calling up a friend to go on a hike, facetiming family members, organizing a date night, hosting a dinner party, etc. That is why the practice of self-love is a journey. As you get to know yourself better and commit to developing your self-awareness, you will know what kind of love you need at any given moment. Now how to ask and assert your needs is a matter for a different blog post. Until next time...

Be well,
Ashley Cipponeri
Wellness Coach & Massage Therapist